he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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