Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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