You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
