There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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