I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
