Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
