Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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