come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
