i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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