Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
