when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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