Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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