I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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