I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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