So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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