check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
