its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
