when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
