how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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