actually, I'm a sock model
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
