In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
