well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
