College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
