Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
