What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hippo gnu deer
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
