Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
