it was like his penis was on wheels.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
