guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
