I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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