Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
