I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
