I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ok first of all what the fuck
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
