that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
