I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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