My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
