i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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