Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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