I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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