yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
