She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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