It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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