Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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