I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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