I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
