Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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