do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So squirting runs in the family.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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