sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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