grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
