i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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