Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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