He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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