Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
